I was feeling very unsure about CLIP. I find reflection difficult and the thought of writing a critical reflective commentary was frightening me. At the CLIP session Caroline came to talk to us about meeting the outcomes of the module within our critical commentary. I did not understand all of what she said and got myself into a state. My confidence was at a low and I really began to doubt my ability to finish the course. I talked to Caroline about it and she told me where to look for help with study skills and talked me through the critical commentary again.
I know that I find reflection difficult because I am not very good at self-analysis and I have not had much practice at doing it. I was worried about seeking help because I was afraid of looking stupid and didn’t question Caroline anymore in the group session because of this fear, and because I was already getting myself in a state about it and just wanted to try and work it out in my own mind. At that point there wasn’t anything that I could have asked to help me as my mind was in such a muddle. However, instead of getting upset I should seek help because by talking to someone about it they can help you see a way through the problem you are struggling with. . When I met with Caroline, she was able to calm my fears about the course by helping me to realise that the learning style of this module just does not suite me because of the lack of clear direction with it and because I am unable to see an end point.
I have learnt that I am someone who needs to be able to clearly see the end point of a project, to know where I’m going. However if the task is broken down into segments it is not as scary and I can see it is attainable. In future I need to view this process as a series of steps. I may not be able to see the end but by trusting in my own abilities and by seeking out different ways to understand what I need to do the end point is achievable.